Patois, Not English

When you see patois in Cassidy style, pronounce every letter you see.

Don’t apply English rules. It’s not English. There is no ‘e’ at the end of words making vowels long. Two like vowels beside each other, means you pronounce the short sound longer (like i and ii in wii). The long ‘i’ in English is pronounced ‘ai’ in Patois.

Jamaican transport

‘Wan stap draiva’, is ow wi dwiit
Caw dem bus no av no ‘biip’.
Muor taim di ringa naa rerk,
a shout yu afi shout fi di bus draw ‘erks!’
A rerk yu a go? Tek taxi cab
But mek shuor caal dem fram yu yaad
Caw dem we de pan di ruod
Wi’ pak an rinkl yu laik tuod

eco facade

They said it would decrease our prices. They lied.
They said it would increase our efficiency. They were wrong.
They said it would reduce our dependency. We’re still waiting.
And while we wait, the prices continue to steadily go up, and the praised ethanol, sitting in high temperature gas tanks, evaporates before we even have a chance to drive it.

sweet seduction

They had wonderful nights together. She would be happy but sad because he always left and she never knew when he would return. Her heart grew weary of sadness. She proposed to make him a permanent part of her life. With delightful seduction, she tied him to the bed, teased him till he begged for her, then… broke his ankles.

Random Story

He shifts nervously. He realizes she’s onto his ‘truthful omission’.

“You know what.”

He says in response to the unspoken accusation in her eyes

“You’re right, I was at pan”

There! He said it. Now what? She doesn’t move, shift… even seem to breathe. He feels to say sorry, but it dies in his throat… he knows it’ll happen again.

(written by Seeker)

Consequencies 1

The sun beat down on him making the pounding in his head even worse.  His memory was fuzzy and disjointed.  One foot in front of the other is all he could manage.  His determination to reach on time a joke in light of his appearance and last night's activities.

"You made it" said the best man!

"I promised" he replied.

One

- Hey!
-HEY!!!
--Huh?
-Daydreamer!
-- S'up.
-Heard?
--What?
-Drama!!
--Drama?
-Draaaammeeeerrr!!!!
--Really?
--Who?
-Julia
--Yeah?
-Brad
--Yeah?
-Busted!
--How?
-HIV!!
--(silence)
-Shame.
--Sigh.....
--Yeah.
-Unprotected!
-Crazyyy!!
--Happens.
-Damn!
--......happens......
-Deserved!
--Why?
-Sluts!
--(sigh)
-Wait....
-Didn't...
--.........
-Worried?
--....Sigh...
--Whatever.
-Tested?
--Yeah.
-Result?
--(silence)
-SHIT!!!
--(silence)
-Positive?
--(tears)
-SHIT!!!
-How...?
-When..?
-SHIT!!
--Tested?
-No?!
-Why?
--...........
-Why?
--.........
-WHY???
--Because.......
-BITCH!!!
--(silence)
-BITCH!!!
--Sorry.
-(slap)

Tenor lyme this Saturday

"Man, this music is hype; can't remember the last time I heard this song."

"Probably before Lonnie and Daedrie-Ann dem were conceived, dear."

"Seriously though, ah out ah shape bad bad. I used to be the queen of
dandy-shandy; nobody could touch me."

"That was 10+ years ago dear."

"What you trying to say, I getting old?!"

"Not trying dear."

Lost in Translation

"How was your Jamaican vacation?"
"Bad! I was in a bad traffic accident, my fault, I was driving on the wrong side."
"Were you hurt?"
"My arm tore open. The other driver told me to remove my bloody clothing... and then, I think he was asking about some cloth for his cat. But I had NO idea who 'Bombo' was!"

Something Just Hit The Fan!

Work. Busy. Tasks. Deadlines. Hectic. Tired. Burnt. Weekend? No. Damn…

Boss. Assignment. Urgent. Critical.

Analysis. Figures. Commentary. Thoughts. Documents. Information. Research. Find. Digest. Conclude. Return. Submit. When? Yesterday!

Review. Correct? Submit... Wait. Errors. Damn. Fix. More. Shit. Time? None! Haste. Tick! Tock!

Boss. Assignment? Ready! Here.

Meeting. Managers. Report. Read. Discuss. What? Rubbish! Who? HIM! Punish!

Boss. Pissed!

Fired. Damn.

Helpless

Her screams pierced the cold night air, shattering the peaceful silence which existed just moments before into a million pieces.
As the dark figure entered the room and moved closer to stand over her, she cried out as if she was able to read the stray thought as it escaped his mind
"Why didn't I wear a condom that night?!"

Elevated Standards

"Oh my Gosh, did you see that body?"
"Eh; It was ok."
"Ok?! He had a perfect six pack, gorgeous back, and it looked like a quarter could be bounced on his ass. Normally you'ld be breaking your neck to look at a bod like that, and all you give him is an 'ok'. What's up?"
"Sorry... I saw 300."

Like A Virgin

He walked her through the door, all the time rubbing his hand on her firm body. She took a few steps inside and then stopped, seemingly satisfied with her position. He quickly got comfortable on the ground. She looked at him, and he could tell she was finally ready. He ever so gently felt her breasts...

Then, he milked her.

Her muscles ached from running but she couldn't stop now.
Whenever she considered leaving him she reminded herself that he had her best interest at heart despite the abuse.
Then she heard his voice and cringed
"Pick up the pace slowpoke. And after that you have 150 squats to do, and I want to see that ass touch the floor!"

Process of Elimination

Another dreadful day had come. The crowd withstood the showers as they said their final goodbye. Linda watched in agony, tears streaming down her pale, bruised face. He was really gone.

Her husband held her tightly as he watched his stepson being lowered six feet below. Then he smiled softly, turned to Linda, and whispered in her ear, "You're next."

Transition

He stood on the top of the hill looking back at the life he'd enjoyed. He smiled at the instances of joy, pain, ups, downs, triumphs, failures...... Wonderful memories, people.... He'd been truly blessed.

Regrets? Very few! He'd ensured that he enjoyed that which was given him thoroughly.

Then he turned, looked at his future............ and walked into her arms.

Just Better Than Cameras In The Bathroom

"Hey Chuck, you got any movies here? I wanna watch a mafia flick."

"Yeah, I do, but..."

"Totally cool! You have Scarface! I'm gonna watch Scarface!"

"NO!!! Take it out, dude... You're gonna get me arrested!"

“Shut up man! You’re totally paranoid.”

(Sirens wail outside)

(Man of horn): "Eject the DVD and put your hands where I can see them!"

When It's Time To Go...

Bruce had thought about it for months, even tried it before and couldn't work up the courage. But today was his day to go. His stomach turned and churned as he stepped close to the edge, and said his final prayer. He kissed his wife’s picture one last time.

“Hey Bruce, this is your spot! See you when we land!”

the writer

She was famous. They waited with great anticipation. She sold her final piece for millions before anyone even saw a single word. She was that good. She took her money and went on a long vacation, leaving no trail.

In a large corner office, the first copy of the masterpiece was opened slowly, expectantly. Out came a single page. Blank.

Littered streets

She vaguely remembered voices shouting........ calling her back. But she'd thought they were just trying to spoil her fun. Fun they could not have, chose not to have..... but .........she'd have listened had she known. Instead, constant cries and hungry mouths all day long, no end! She jumped the fence and ran until she could no longer hear................. their meowing.

Faith, Hope & Joy

Tired of suspecting that she'd been fed lies, Joy decided to leave. Hope wasn't so sure, and decided that she'd tough it out a little longer. And Faith, good old Faith allowed herself no time to consider anything negative.

Until finally, Joy, Hope and Faith met. At that point, it was clear- Trick was a cheating a**hole of a boyfriend.

Hours she spent on her masterpiece.
Working. Toiling. Paying attention to every little detail.
Tirelessly her limbs moved, adding delicate touches to make this artwork unique, special additions to make it her own.
Caught up in the task at hand, her surroundings now seemed like big blur, too insignificant for her to take notice
Until it was too late





SPLAT!

Panoridim... Humpty Dumpty style

Panoridim sat on a wall
Panoridim had a great fall
All the strong pan boys and all the pan men
Couldn’t get Panoridim together again.

Then there was a suggestion:
Let the pan ladies do it!!

I'm joking guys... ur not totally incapable... :D

Hi, My name is...

Addiction?!
No, I've never taken casual drugs or anything like that.

Well yeah, there's something I like doing regularly.

So it causes arguments sometimes but that's cause they don't understand.

Well it's fun and it's not hurting anyone.
Lot's of other people do it.

Don't be ridiculous.
I can stop playing whenever I want

but why would I want to?

Focused

“Look at her skirt… it’s hideous!”

“Did he use lotion this morning?”

“What a lapse! She just said ‘forHever’!"

“Is my makeup messed up? I hope not.”

“Wi get di ting dem, dem outta luck now…”

“Bwoy that movie last night was hardcore!”

“Lawx him can chat! Shut up now nuh!...”

“Would you look at that! Church is done already.”

We love you, but...

“Hi mom. Hi Dad. I have something to sh…”

“Before you start dear, we just want to let you know that we love you and have your best interest at heart. Since the day we laid our eyes on you, we knew you would be a special child.”

“What’s this about?” she says somewhat surprised.

“We want you out! Now!”

Everybody else has a life

“Hello… Hello. Is anybody in here?”
She wanders about the dim lit, seemingly abandoned room, as it resonates with every call she makes.

She stumbles over some of B’s books, sees D's cell phone he left to avoid calls, the work BC was stressing over, Seeker’s spelling list… She realizes someone’s there, hovering over a computer, reading/commenting on Aurora. BashmentBass.

She said

"Oh my Gaaawwwwwddd! No he didn't!"
(Sobbing) 'I didn't know what to do... he just......'
"Are you alright?"
'................nooooooooooooo!!' (wailing)
"So...... what are you gonna do....... I mean...... well .........you know what I mean!"
'I don't knoooooooooooooow! I can't breathe! I'm gonna die!' (hyperventilating)
"Everything will be alright, just calm down! So.... what did you say?"
'YES of course!'
"BITCH!"

He said

"Hold on, is what you tryin to seh to me?"
'I did it man.'
"Did what you ass? Stop beatin around di bush! Why you always have to be so damn cryptic?"
'You know already! Didn't you get my text?'
"No I never get no damn text... wait is dat text you talkin bout?!"
(Smiles) 'Yeah.'
"SH*T! You dumb f#ck!"

Pointless Conversations

He walks past several times a day, everyday, glancing in her direction, trying to make eye contact. She sees, but glues her eyes to the screen.
He realizes he’s not getting her attention and walks over... “Hey Q-D-P-I-E!”
“No creativity…” she thinks to herself.
He likes what he sees. He wants what he sees, but he doesn’t stand a chance.